Hello, there, yeah it's been a while since my last post but hey I'm here now so let's jump into it.
So yeah I'm not sure if you're fully conscious of it, but there's this disgusting feeling we feel pretty often in our lives. It's that feeling you feel when you have to say goodbye even though you don't really wanna. It doesn't necessarily have to be a person, it could be a lifestyle that you adapted to during the summer. Well if you still feel you're not following, then allow me to quickly explain.
Remember when you were young and were off school for the summer and you did almost all the cool things that you could think of and then suddenly it was time to get ready for school and ooohhh I know you remember those dreadful Sundays just before the first day back at school. I spent those evenings printing pictures of kanye west and pasting them to the front covers of my exercise books to try and make the idea of going back to school seem cool and inspiring, but still that dark feeling would never leave. That "life sucks" feeling, that "I wish i was dead" type of feeling. I felt this feeling because I knew that I was to say goodbye to a lot of things that I loved to do like stay up late and make mad beats until my eyes hurt and could hear the birds usher us into a beautiful summer's morning. Yes I had to say goodbye to all of this and say hello to all the jackass prefects who would constantly tell me to tuck in my shirt ( hahaha this is kind of ironic because I was later elected prefect, but that's not important, back to the story). Yes I was going back to the world that I hated, and by no surprise during this period of high school I performed very mediocre in my studies.
Oh look, it's your lucky day, this is going to be a long post :).
So yeah I'm sure you have an idea of what I'm saying. Now lets try just for a moment to step back and see the bigger picture here. Could it be that we feel this dark and empty feeling because our subconscious mind is under the impression that change is coming, or maybe it could be a message from our subconscious that another side of us will be needed if we are to be what we truly want to be. And this is what we fear, the responsibility that all of us have to be great in all that we do, we are all given the opportunity to experience our higher selves but most of us turn down this grand opportunity by entering this experience with a negative attitude.
If we think about it really, a problem isn't really a "problem", its just an opportunity to experience our ideal self. An amazing thing happened to me the other day, I was complaining to my brother of how hard life is and honestly I was being a whimp. My brother, who I love dearly, eventually got fed up of my undying expression of cowardice and decided to speak up. He firmly but lovingly placed his hand on my shoulder and said "when we were growing up, all use to talk about was how much you wanted to be the greatest and praised by all that meet you. Great men can solve great problems, great men don't cry about how hard life is because no matter the circumstance, great men always enter a problem with the sole intention of being great and winning." He then started laughing while he called me names (haha big brothers, right?).
But none the less what he said was the truth, since I can remember I would spend my free time imagining myself as a great man, or at least what I thought was a great man. So here I sit in the family study, blogging while that dark, empty feeling tries to make its way and blind me from the purest truth, but this time I will not let it. I want to be great, and I will receive every opportunity (or "problem") with nothing but open arms because I know what I want to do and what I want to be.
While typing this I know that there is a high possibility that you yourself want to be great, and at the risk of sounding like a delusional new thought author, I will here say that I believe that you yourself are the reason that you think you're not great, you yourself are the reason why you may think you're not as strong or courageous as you want to be. You may disagree and of course you're allowed to, but everybody knows that a strong quality of a great person is that of courage.
To be great we must not only show courage when we face the people who are against our well being but we must also show courage when we find ourselves thinking the thoughts and feeling the emotions which try deny us the opportunity to be the person we wish to be.
I have said a lot and I will end off this post by saying that a person is not weak if he is beaten, a person is weak if he allows himself to be beaten.
Timmy gonna see you on the flippy.
-Donje :)
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